Concealed Passion
by BlossomingWords
Summary: It all started with a dark apartment, a girl chained up and a perp inside, this seemed like the perfect situation for the two detectives, Olivia Benson and Amanda Rollins, to prove themselves as the best on the team. But when things went wrong and Olivia needed Amanda the most, did Rollins help? And will they keep on defending each other from the criminals of NY? Benson/Rollins
1. Chapter 1: Foundation

**Note: I do not own these characters. **

* * *

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever."  
― Alfred Tennyson

* * *

**Concealed Passion**

Rollins crept up the stairs of the dark apartment block, Benson a few steps ahead of her, gun in hand. They walked slowly down the corridor trying to find the number of the apartment they were looking for. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Rollins looked down at her watch, it was a quarter past midnight and she was starting to get hungry. All of this searching and paperwork had done her in for the day but she kept going she knew she had to find Rose Mendes. Eighteen. Benson turned and nodded, indicating that the door at the end of the hall was the one they were looking for. The one they hoped Rose would be in.

They'd been working a case together, Benson and Rollins, a hard case involving an underage girl and a group of really revolting men. Amanda had found out that the girl had been kidnapped somewhere around Chinatown and the assailant had been seen handling a gun and a well-known gang tattoo was seen on his neck. Benson was the one with the contacts; she nailed it down to two suspects. Either Frank Dune or Steven Gonzales, two prolific sex traffickers. Amaro and Fin had been sent to find Steven Gonzales and Rollins and Benson to find Frank Dune. Nineteen.

Rollins kept her gun in her hand as she tried for the door handle but it was locked. 'Surprise' she thought to herself. Benson looked at the younger woman, she watched as Amanda's eyes darted to the door then back to her gun. She was nervous and she had every right to be. Whatever was on the other side of that door wasn't going to be nice. Olivia touched Amanda's arm and smiled, a form of reassurance. Then she turned and slammed her foot against the door, it burst open and the two detectives rushed in. Benson ran straight over to the window where Rose was lying on an old mattress, chained to a radiator. Her face bloodstained and her clothes were torn.

While Benson clawed at the girls restraints Rollins took her gun and turned the corner into the bedroom. All that could be found was an old chest of drawers and screwed up newspaper thrown into a corner. Amanda walked over to the newspaper and picked it up; it dated back to the 80s. 'He's been doing this a long time' she thought to herself. Turning on her heels she headed back to where Olivia was, she had one more room to check. As she reached the door she saw Frank Dune stood behind Benson, a knife in his hand about to make the final move.

"LIV!" Rollins shouted pulling the trigger on her gun and watching as the bullet flew through the air and imbedded itself in the back of Frank Dune's neck. Olivia ducked as she heard the gunshot and turned her head to see the perp fall to the floor and lay motionless. Rose began to weep as she realised that that man could never hurt her again while Benson tried to comfort not only Rose but also herself.

Back at the precinct Rollins got on with the paperwork, Benson had seemed in shock and had gone for a drive around the block a few times to clear her head. Fin walked in and sat on the side of her desk and handed her a coffee.

"Thanks" she said looking up him.

"Heard you saved Liv"

"It's all part of the job I guess" she smiled, she was partly proud of herself and partly relieved that no harm had come to her partner.

"Well either way good job" he patted her on the shoulder and walked over to his own desk grabbing a pen and some sheets.

Cragen walked in and nodded to Rollins, a sign that she had done a good job. Rollins nodded back and took a pen out of her mouth and signed a sheet. Out of the corner of her eye Rollins saw as Benson walked in and past the door to the office, presumably towards the toilets. She got up from her desk and followed her down the corridor and into the ladies toilets. They were alone. All that could be heard was the noises of the cops pacing up and down the corridor. Olivia stood by the sink, her head in her hands. She looked up as she saw Rollins walk in.

"You okay Liv?" she said stepping closer to the older woman.

"Thanks" was all Olivia could manage.

"It was nothing, a part of my job. Let's call it a favor." Rollins smiled and rested a hand on Olivia's shoulder.

"I should have seen it coming, it was an amateur move. I dunno what's wrong with me these days!" Benson looked down at her hands; she'd had a rough couple of cases in the last two months. A group of children had been kidnapped and trafficked and then there was Rose. And what she'd said to Amanda was a lie, she knew exactly what was wrong with her she just didn't have the guts to admit it. She wanted to; she really did but now was not the time. It was never a good time.

"It's fine Liv, we ain't all perfect you know." Olivia grabbed Amanda and pulled her into a comforting and warm hug. Amanda felt as Olivia's breathing went up and down, how her hair was so soft and how Olivia's hands had slowly begun to move down to her lower back. They stayed like it for what seemed like hours. Olivia had started to nestle into Amanda's blonde hair then she pulled away eventually and looked up at Rollins; her blue eyes seemed so beautiful yet so distant like she was keeping something hidden. A secret perhaps.

Olivia swiveled around to check her hair in the mirror, knocking her badge onto the floor. Amanda instinctively bent down to grab it but was met by Olivia's hand on top of hers. She felt the heat of her partner and looked up at those brown eyes. She parted her mouth about to say something, something she'd wanted to say a long long time.

"Benson, Rollins. I need you in the squad room there's something I need to tell you." The two detectives looked up at ADA Novak who had come back for the month. Casey looked down and the two detectives realised their compromising position. They both blushed and rushed to their feet; Rollins picked up the badge and handed it to Olivia. Their hands touched once more and Amanda couldn't help but notice that Benson had lingered as she'd taken it from her.

"Am I interrupting something ladies?" Casey joked, her eyebrows rising.

* * *

**Note: Be sure to make a review. Any advice is welcome. :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Connection

**Note: I do not own these characters!**

* * *

"The eyes are one of the most powerful tools a woman can have. With one look, she can relay the most intimate message. After the connection is made, words cease to exist. "  
― Jennifer Salaiz

* * *

**Concealed Passion:**

**Chapter 2: Connection**

That day when Casey had caught Olivia and Amanda in the toilets was the first time Benson had realised something. The first time she'd actually realised all of her mixed emotions, all of her unexplainable anger and sadness over cases had been because of one thing. Amanda Rollins. Now she knew that it had been a somewhat compromising situation but Olivia had sort of enjoyed Casey seeing them together, together touching, and being at that moment connected. Yeah she knew it was just the touch of her hand but Olivia had felt herself become exceedingly relaxed in Amanda's presence and she really wanted to keep having that feeling. That feeling of belonging.

Casey had called them into explain that at the arraignment, on a previous case they had worked on, had gone horribly wrong. It was unlike ADA Novak to lose cases but in this particular one they had brought down their defense by explaining that the defendant had suffered terrible abuse as a child. The defense attorney believed it was only a matter of time till he began to offend and he should not be held accountable for any of his actions. Now everyone in that squad room knew that the young man being put on trial for rape was in fact guilty and they all knew that there was no excuse to perform such a cruel and selfish act. But that's not how court works and if the judge didn't agree, their case was thrown out. Much like what had just happened to them.

Olivia got up from her couch and looked out of her window and down at the street below. The window panes were splattered with droplets of rain and she watched as the people of New York scuttled off to whatever place they sought. Holding newspapers above their heads, umbrellas were brought out and the occasional luminous anorak could be seen running up the road. Benson smiled, she loved the rain. It made her think of how warm she was sat there in her apartment while others struggled through the storm outside. She moved from her window and went over to her fridge, opening it up she grabbed a carton of milk and put it on the counter. She closed the door and looked down at the picture of her squad. They all smiled back through the Polaroid and she laughed as she saw the ridiculous party hats they had all put on because it had been Cragen's birthday. On closer inspection she looked to see Fin in the background grabbing more cake, Amaro had his arm slung around Cragen's shoulder. She found herself beaming a happy smile from inside of the photo and then her eyes flicked to see Rollins stood there. A piece of cake in one hand and large grin on her face. That woman was always hungry and eating but no fat could ever be found on that slender body of hers, Benson thought.

She made herself a coffee and placed the milk back in the fridge, she started to flick through the channels as she sat back down on her warm brown couch. She felt the material move beneath her as she slowly molded back into the couch, it was like she was at one with the couch or at least united much like a barnacle was to the side of a boat. Nothing. Cable was really crap these days. BEEP. Benson looked over her shoulder and saw her cell phone screen light up indicating a message. She shuffled across her couch and picked it up. It was Casey. Apparently she'd found another way to get around the earlier arraignment and had started to make headway on the case. Benson replied with a short 'That's great, hope we get to nail the bastard!' it was unlike Benson to use such language but in the case of this young man, it was worth it or at least needed. Olivia picked her coffee back up and took a sip. Beep. Her phone screen lit up again. 'Geez is it that hard to have a day off work? If that's Novak I'm gunna tell her where to...'

The message was from Amanda. The message was short but any contact from her younger colleague made her smile, it brightened her day.

'Hey. What are you doing?'

Olivia replied back within seconds.

'Sat on my couch watching cable. You?'

She sat in her seat, placed the phone down next to her. She looked at it. She looked again. Another look took place before another message was received.

'In my Imagination or in reality?'

'Both :)' Benson had sent back. Amanda was a way to keep her day just that bit more interesting. Maybe just that little bit of happiness that everyone knew Olivia deserved.

Another message popped into her inbox.

'Imagination: I'm sat on a beach to an exotic island sipping on pina coladas and sunbathing'

'And reality?'

'Reality: I'm watching as my sister tears all of my clothes out my wardrobe and starts trying them on to see what she can steal. If she doesn't stop in the next ten seconds I may have to kill her.' Benson looked at her phone and laughed, Amanda was pretty funny when she wanted to be. Amanda's sister had been staying with her two days now and was only there for another four but she already seemed to be annoying Rollins. As she began to text back another message came through.

'Could I come over, I'm really trying to stop the urge to actually murder her.'

'Sure you can :)'

'Okay see you in ten X'

A jolt of joy rushed through Olivia. She'd put a kiss at the end of her text message. Her partner, her co-worker, her crush was coming over and...Benson looked down at her clothes. A pair of sweat pants and an old crumpled grey oversized NYPD t-shirt. Shit. She jumped up from her seat ran into her bedroom and grabbed at her clothes, she threw them to the floor as she grabbed for new cleaner ones. Pulling on a blue top and a pair of jeans she raced back into her kitchen space and began to tidy. She quickly moved onto the area around her couch and had just finished as Amanda knocked at her door.

'Hey' they both greeted each, Olivia welcomed her in and watched as the younger woman placed a grocery bag onto her kitchen counter.

'I brought snacks and some movies' she smiled slowly pulling out the bags of candy and chips. Benson watched as she did it, her blonde hair swaying from side to side, she looked at the woman's clothes. She was soaked from head to foot. Water dripped from her hair and her clothes clung to her slender body.

'Why don't I finish unpacking that while you go and change into some of my clothes, we don't want you getting a cold.' she said eventually. Walking over to Rollins and looking down at her wet outfit. Rollins looked down and smiled. She hadn't realised how wet she had gotten and she loved how Olivia was so caring towards her. A strand of hair fell into her face as she looked at herself. Benson bent forward, her hand drifting towards her colleagues sculptured features. She gently brushed the strand away, only to linger. Her hand cupped Amanda's cheek.

'Okay I'll just check one thing' Rollins said jerking sideways and in the meantime knocking away Olivia's hand. She grabbed hold of the grocery bag and looked in checking if her favorite Hershey bar was there. Benson's heart dropped, Amanda had turned away, she clearly wasn't interest. Olivia proceeded to walk over and reached up above Amanda's head to the cupboard where she grabbed a bowl for the chips. She held onto the younger woman's waist, balancing herself. The touch did not go unnoticed and Amanda turned to go and change but her face ended up a mere centimeter away from Olivia's. They looked up at each other. Their eyes connected. Olivia's hand still on Amanda's waist.

* * *

**Note: Please review this fanfic when you're done, any criticism is welcome :) If you have any ideas you would like me to think about please personal message me and i'll get back to you. Thanks for reading! :D**


	3. Chapter 3: Dawn of Desire

**A\N: I do not own these characters. Hi guys thanks for the reviews so far. I hope you like this chapter and please leave a review once you're done. Any advice is welcome and if you have any ideas about where you would like this to go, please private message me. :)**

* * *

"When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again."  
― Albert Einstein

* * *

**Chapter 3: Dawn of Desire**

Amanda continued to stare at the woman who she had so longed to be with for as long as she could remember. The soft glare of the sunset sparkled through the rain drops on the window pane, illuminating both Amanda's and Olivia's faces. They continued to stare at each other. Amanda felt the rising feeling of pressure. The constant questioning had started to niggle its way back into her mind. She saw more problems with being with Olivia than she saw not being with her. And Rollins was one for taking the easier option.

"I better get changed" the younger of the two women moved away, knocking Olivia out of the way and walked swiftly to the bedroom. Rollins began to pace around the room, her head was in the wrong place, clearly if she'd just missed the opportunity to kiss the woman she'd a crush on. And she hadn't just missed an opportunity she had thrown in out the window, she had drop kicked it into the next century, an opportunity like that didn't come round every day. But the pressure of being with her was too much, could she cope with it? All the questions that the team would ask and all the other worries that would come along with a brand new relationship would be hard to cope with.

Olivia stood with her back against the kitchen counter; she could feel as the cold surface rubbed against her back. Benson shook her head, rolled her eyes and pulled her fingers through her hair. 'I've obviously screwed that one up' she thought to herself. Now if Rollins wanted to leave she really didn't blame her. This situation just queued for an evening of awkwardness.

An outsider could say that this was a typical case of unrequited love...no not unrequited but hidden. Some could say that in this case of Olivia Benson and Amanda Rollins it was not love that presently prevailed but a dose of concealed passion. This was clear as Amanda had walked back in to find Olivia sat on the couch, she had popped a DVD into the TV and a bowl of snacks had been placed on the couch next to her. Rollins had approached cautiously as if she was trying to grasp the nature or the severity of the current situation.

Benson looked up and smiled, she moved the bowl so that a cushion was free next to her. Amanda sat down next and sieved through the snack bowl, grabbing at the Hershey bar, she slipped down into a comfortable position and began to engross herself in the movie.

Two movies later and a clock chimed one as Olivia's eyes snapped open and she looked to her left. She saw Amanda sound asleep on her arm. The younger woman's left arm was stretched and delicately placed on Olivia's thigh. Olivia smiled to herself. Not once had she been so close and so involved with a woman like this before and she quite frankly loved it. But she needed her own bed; she needed a good sleep if she was actually going to feel alive later that morning and be able to cope with her feelings for Amanda. So she gently moved Amanda's head and placed it lightly onto a cushion. Rollins rolled over and shifted her body weight onto her side while Benson grabbed a blanket and draped it over her colleague. She bent down and moved closer to Rollins. She could feel the younger woman's breath on her face as she leant in and placed a kiss on Amanda's forehead. Another smile from Benson and the night between those two was finished.

BANG. CLATTER. BANG.

Rollins awoke to the sound of Olivia clanging around in the kitchen making what she presumed could only be breakfast. Her hair was a mess and her pajamas were all ruffled and misplaced. 'How long has Liv been up?' Amanda thought as she swiveled her legs around and stood up, brushing a blanket off herself as she did so. She stepped across to the window, all signs of the storm the night before had vanished and she wondered what her sister was doing back at her apartment. Or more importantly she wondered what clothes she was going to have left.

"Morning, oh sorry did I wake you?" Olivia called out as she noticed Amanda by the window, "I made breakfast." She placed a plate of pancakes onto the table, pushing aside some of the mountains of paperwork. Rollins walked over and placed herself into the seat opposite Olivia. She grabbed the syrup from the table and began to pour it onto her food. Amanda looked up at her partner, about to say something when Benson's cell phone rang.

"Benson," she answered, "Uh huh, yeah, okay I'll be there in an hour." Then she snapped her cell shut. Before Amanda could ask what the call could be about she received one on her own cell, she answered it and once finished placed it back down onto the table and took a bite of her pancakes.

"Another happy case then," she mumbled through a mouthful of food. Olivia nodded.

"Seems like it," she replied, eating her own breakfast and sipping at her coffee.

"Thanks for lettin' me stay over last night Liv, I really appreciate it. I think I'd have definitely considered murder as a way to resolve that damn clothes stealing sister of mine." Amanda smiled the southern twang of her voice made Olivia have butterflies. She really did love that voice, that accent.

Benson laughed. "That's okay, you're welcome over anytime." A silence set on the situation. "So do you kill people often?" Olivia inquired.

Rollins looked up at the other woman. "I'd rather not say, after all I am a detective." They both began to laugh. Olivia picked up their now finished plates and put them to one side.

"That's true I suppose," She giggled, "We'd better get ready if we've got a case. Otherwise Cragen might get a little angry, or Fin might get jealous you're here with me and not with your proper partner."

"Yeh." Amanda laughed again and walked back into Olivia's bedroom to find her clothes now dry and freshly ironed.

'Wow Liv must have been up and about earlier than I thought.' She presumed. Putting her clothes back on she walked back out into the kitchen and saw that Benson had quickly changed her top for a subtle blue one and had placed her jacket on the side of the chair.

The two ambled around each other for about ten minutes, grabbing at makeup and hair brushes all in attempts to make themselves even more beautiful than they thought each other were. Amanda placed a tube of mascara down onto the table as Olivia went to grab for a rose tinted lip gloss. Their hands brushed and they both felt the intensity they had felt the night before.

The early morning sun crept into the apartment, the rain from the night before had stopped and the streets of New York were free of drenched beings. Paperwork that Olivia had yet to complete lay spread across the table. The two women stood apart from each other, each looking at their hands and then back at one another. Their breathing was for the best part unstable, erratic, and uncontrollable.

"Look Rollins," Benson took a breath, "Amanda... I need to explain. Last night I didn't mean to…"

"You have nothing to explain," Rollins took three small steps forward and was within a small distance of her colleague. "I'm the one that should be explainin' some things. Some very important things Liv."

She looked up into Olivia's brown eyes, their souls were connected and she was unable to look away. As with every other person who had ever met Olivia Benson, Amanda had always loved Olivia's appearance and her all round friendly personality. With her constant tanned skin and her long brown hair that always hung perfectly around her face. But being this close and this involved with Olivia made Amanda realise how lonely the woman really was and how lonely she herself was as well.

'What am I doing?' Amanda thought, 'Am I really going to confess this feeling I have for her?'

Amanda grabbed for Olivia's hand, she held it for mere seconds before moving her hand up to the older woman's arm and then to her face. She cupped Olivia's cheek and she didn't resist. The younger of the two began smiling as Olivia nestled slightly into her palm.

"I don't care what anyone else thinks", Rollins said, clarifying it to both herself and to her partner. She leant closer, her lips parted. Olivia felt as Amanda's lips met hers, how the passion she had for the woman began to venture through her body. She deepened the kiss and her hands moved down Rollins' figure, she reached her waist and pulled her ever closer. Amanda wrapped one hand in Olivia's hair and kept the other cupped around her cheek as she continued their loving embrace. They moved across the room, both holding the other, not letting go. Olivia moved Amanda across the apartment keeping her hands on the other woman as if protecting her in some way. Oblivious to their surroundings they backed into the table knocking off papers and a glass that had been hidden under the paperwork. It smashed as it hit the floor and the two women parted and looked down at the mess below. Rollins began to bend down to pick up the small glass shards but was stopped as Olivia's hands grabbed hers, their fingers entwining. They looked at each other.

"You don't know how long I've hoped you'd do that" Olivia said, "That kiss, it was..."

"It was all the explainin' we needed to do, "Amanda smiled grabbing for her coat. "We'd better get going Liv."

Benson nodded, grabbing her own jacket, car keys and gun and the pair walked out of the apartment hand in hand.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked it, leave me a review and let me know. ****If you have any ideas about where you would like this to go, please private message me. Thanks :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Explaining:

**A/N: Sorry it's been a bit later than usual, I've been pretty busy. Hope you like it and please leave a review. I'm thinking of writing another fanfic at the same time so please feel free to give me some shows/couples to write about. I do not own these characters. :) **

"As you yourself have said, what other explanation can there be?'

Poirot stared straight ahead of him. 'That is what I ask myself,' he said. 'That is what I never cease to ask myself."  
― Agatha Christie, _Murder on the Orient Express_

**Chapter 4: Explain:**

The doors to the elevator opened and the two women stepped out into the hustle and bustle of the one-six precinct, they'd gotten a case and this meant everyone meant business. Benson and Rollins rounded the corner to find Fin and Amaro already with the Captain. Rollins went to stand with Fin while Benson directly advanced towards Cragen.

"What we got Captain?"

"A case just came in of a thirty-eight year old woman who got attacked and beaten, she caught a glimpse of her assailant but nothing substantial and all Warner could get was DNA samples from under the vic's fingernails."

"So a typical attempted rape then?" Amaro said calculating the little work that would be needed for the case.

"It's not that simple," the captain replied pointing to the board, "our vic is Julia Hart, she's known for running a prostitution ring downtown. She was on bail when the attack happened but the interesting thing is she not only reported it but reported other cases of it happening to her girls. This perp only attacks women who are on bail for crimes that they've almost indefinitely committed."

"But why would he do that if he knows that they're just gunna go to jail and report it?" Rollins questioned.

"That's what we don't understand. He's targeting and attacking women that's why they've called us. Benson, Rollins I want you to go down and see what you can find out about Julia Hart and the others that have been attacked; see if anyone local knows anything. Fin and Amaro go and talk to Julia Hart and make sure her stories clear."

The detectives nodded their heads, grabbed their jackets and left for their vehicles. It took Rollins and Benson forever to get across the city, each taking glances at the other as they drove. Little did they know that they both were replaying the kiss from earlier that morning in their minds. It had taken Benson a lot longer to realize that she had feelings for Amanda and now that she'd finally admitted it to herself she felt a lot more comfortable around the younger detective. They arrived downtown and the pair got out and walked down some of the alleys before they came to a group of girls. Each dressed to impress, a certain clientele. And all eyeing the detectives suspiciously.

"I'm Detective Benson and this is Detective Rollins," she said showing her badge and indicating to Amanda, "I'd just like to ask you a few questions about the attacks that have happened recently." The women nodded in acknowledgment, one taking a puff on her cigarette while another chewed on her gum. Amanda began to listen as the girls explained the attacks and how they were worried about staying around the streets at night. Rollins stood aside listening to the sounds on the street and watching as Olivia effortlessly got information out of the women. She hadn't met someone so...perfect. That was the only way she could think of describing her.

The way she moved, the way she talked, her interrogation methods. It was everything about her that Amanda loved, she knew that she'd felt something for Olivia the first time she'd met her. But she hadn't been sure what it was she felt and she wouldn't even tell her partner. Fin had long questioned her on her personal life but she didn't like to share personal things, she much preferred to keep to herself.

From her daydreaming Rollins could see someone down the end of the street. He hadn't noticed her looking but she made sure to get a good glance at his face. He had a moustache and wore an unmistakable red and purple scarf; she remembered this because she'd thought it was an odd combination or rather an ugly combination. Rollins raised her head slightly so that their eyes met. He saw her look and disappeared quickly behind the wall and away down another alley.

She turned back to Benson who had finished questioning the women.

"You alright Rollins?"

"Yeh fine, just thought I saw somethin' down there."

Benson nodded and they walked back to the car and they drove back to the precinct. As they climbed into the elevator they soon realised they were alone, together. Olivia looked across at Rollins who always seemed to wear this intriguing look on her face. She turned back.

"You know it's natural right?"

"Natural for what?" Rollins asked.

"To be confused about this…about us. I'm as confused as you are. We just need to work out what we've got that's all."

"I dunno it feels like if I let it out Cragen's gunna think we won't be professional or the others won't understand. I'm new and I know how easily it is to form an opinion of someone who you don't know."

"Look" Olivia stepped closer to Amanda, "We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel just a little mixed up about this. Don't worry about Cragen, once we've figured out what we we've got he'll understand." she grabbed hold of Amanda's arm and smiled, she could feel the heat coming from her and she just couldn't help but want her more.

Rollins looked down at her arm, felt her touch. Looked up into those brown beautiful eyes and wished they were back in Olivia's apartment. But no they were there for a reason and had to solve this case.

The doors to the elevator opened and they walked into the squad room. Amaro and Fin had already told the Captain the information they'd acquired and Cragen could be heard in his office shouting at what Rollin's presumed was ADA Novak. Rollins went and sat in her chair and Olivia walked over and perched herself on the side of her partner's desk.

"So what'd you get?" Benson questioned Amaro.

"Well we checked the vic's story out and some of her girls and they all seem to be the same. He stalks them, attacks them and then leaves them to go to jail. It's all a bit strange if you ask me," Nick replied looking up as ADA Novak stormed out of Cragen's office. She ignored the detectives sat at their desks and walked to the elevator, a case in one hand, a coffee cup in the other and a threatening look strewn across her face. Cragen appeared a minute later to discuss the case.

"I've been talking to ADA Novak and we have both agreed that because most of our vic's our in prison and they won't talk to so us we're gunna send one of you in."

"Awww sweet, a little undercover work then. What do we get to be, a prison guard?" Amaro asked getting more interested by the second. He would much rather be doing undercover work than paperwork.

"No, we've arranged a trial," Cragen answered. Amaro looked at Fin who shrugged his shoulders and Benson and Rollins both looked at him puzzled.

The Captain clarified, "One of you is gunna be undercover as an inmate and is gunna try and befriend any of these women who we think have been attacked."

"Looks like you're up Liv after all you've done it before," Fin said pointing his coffee cup at Benson who turned to look at Cragen, he shook his head.

"Oh it's not Benson who's going undercover. It's Rollins."

Rollins looked up from her desk as the others peered over at her.

"Me? You want me to go undercover?"

"Look Amanda. Liv's already been undercover there once already so they're gunna know who she is. If we want any chance of catching him we've gotta find his vics. Now go get some rest you've your trial tomorrow morning."

"But Captain…."

Cragen turned around. "That's an order!"

Rollins had arrived back at her apartment, she was stunned. She'd told her sister about her fake trial that was to happen in the morning and had sent Kim back to Atlanta. She didn't want her hanging around here all week by herself, who knew what she'd get up to. Amanda was surprised that Cragen had sprung this on her, an undercover job. 'Why couldn't they get someone else to do it? And why had Casey and Cragen been fighting earlier?' were the only two things Rollins could think about at the moment. She looked up at the clock, it was nearly eleven and she'd promised Benson that she'd go and see her after work, so she grabbed her keys and left the house.

Benson heard a knock at the door, she looked at her watch. Eleven o'clock. She was on time. She unbolted the door and let the younger detective in, grabbing her coat and placing it on a chair at the table. Handing Amanda a bottle of beer she sat down on the couch. Rollins joined her.

"So what'd ya think?" Rollins asked.

"About the undercover work?" Amanda nodded, "It's gunna be tough but Cragen said he's gunna let me come in and check on you every two or three days to make sure you're alright."

Amanda smiled, taking a sip from her beer bottle and grabbing for Olivia's hand. Their fingers intertwined and they sat staring into each other's eyes.

"What are we gunna do Liv?" Rollins said after a long silence.

"What now or in general?"

"Now. Where is 'us' going." She said looking up into the other woman's eyes and feeling her stroke a stray piece of hair from her face.

"Well where do you want it to go?" Benson said placing her beer on the coffee table and looking more intensely into Amanda's eyes. She could feel a sense of passion run through her; at first she thought it was lust for the beautiful woman at her side. But no, it was a shear sense of belonging and companionship.

"At this moment in time, the bedroom, because I'm tired." Benson looked up as she heard the first part of the sentence then the two looked at each other and laughed as Rollins finished it. "I had you worried for a second then didn't I?"

"I wouldn't say worried is quite the word you're looking for." Olivia winked, the pair laughed again. Benson lent in and placed a small kiss upon Amanda's perfectly plump lips. They parted, their faces inches away from each other. Benson looked down and grabbed Amanda's other hand and led her towards the bedroom. They both changed into sweats and climbed into Olivia's comfortable double bed. Rollins slid across to her partner, finding comfort in her arms. She raised her hand up and stroked Olivia's cheek and giving her a small kiss on her lips. Benson pulled her closer and the two lay curled together in the middle of the bed.

Amanda laid her head beneath Olivia's chin and on her collar bone tracing the edge of her shoulder with her finger.

"I'm crazy about you Olivia Benson," Amanda said quietly. Liv smiled to herself, pulling the woman closer and the two fell asleep in each other's arms.

**A/N: Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought and what you think will happen to Amanda in prison. Thanks for reading. :)**


	5. Chapter 5: Change

**A\N: I do not own these characters. Sorry the chapter's been late I had a serious case of writers block **** but now the chapter's done I hope you like it. Please leave a review.**

* * *

"If you want to change attitudes, start with a change in behaviour."  
― Katharine Hepburn

* * *

**Chapter 5: Change**

* * *

It was the day of the trail and little did Amanda Rollins know that she was in fact nervous or at least a tiny bit anxious about the situation. She hadn't thought about it, only thought about the job she had to do. During the night she'd tossed and turned, Olivia had considered sleeping on the couch but decided better of it and stuck with her partner, as she always did. The pair had dressed and driven to the court house, it was the day of the trail and Amanda had worn a black shirt and a small jacket to match, all of which she had borrowed from Olivia's wardrobe and all of which smelt like Olivia. It was the most comforting part of the whole experience. Casey was the prosecutor which put Rollins at ease and the rest of the detectives were already in court waiting for them.

Benson and Rollins stood outside the doors to the court room, Olivia grabbed Amanda's arm and turned the younger woman to face her. "You don't have to do this you know Amanda, we could think of some other way if you don't wanna do it." Benson urged, trying her hardest not to show her undying feeling to sweep Rollins off her feet and away from any harm that may come to her. Rollins turned around, "Look Liv I'm a big girl, I can look after myself." Rollins grabbed Olivia's hand she pulled it up to her mouth and kissed the top of it, first making sure no one they knew was around. Then they stepped into the court room. All Rollins could remember was the clattering of feet as they scuffed across the floor and the overpowering feeling that Liv was looking at her from across the room. Then later she heard the words. The few words that would change her life.

"In the case of Victoria Clay, I hereby pronounce you guilty." There it was. Casey looked up at her and nodded. Amanda had smiled, looked back at Fin who stood in his usual macho stance and then to Benson and Amaro. Benson seemed worried but she knew she was just being over protective as usual. They had pulled Amanda from the court house and trundled her into a police van and off she went. It had taken a while to get to the prison but all that time Amanda wasn't thinking about her night with Olivia but of the job she had to do, the women she had to save or at least get justice for. The van drove into the prison and she took one small sniff of her jacket, of Olivia before she got out.

Within the hour she was in her orange jumpsuit and white vest top, her hair hung loosely over her shoulders as she watched the other inmates. She had gotten paraded to her cell by a rather unhappy, overworked prison guard whose face seemed to droop in an unnatural manner. There were screams, woops and the occasional reference to her behind all of which Rollins ignored. The droopy faced prison guard escorted her to her cell and left her there. She sat on the bottom bunk in the cramped space twiddling her thumbs and thinking more about her plan.

"What are you in for?" A voice said from above her.

Rollins looked up; she had thought she was alone, apparently not. Standing up she came face to face with a woman not much older than she was, shoulder length brown hair and an intriguing set of green eyes. Rollins had casually looked up at the woman before replying "Possession of stolen goods. What about you?"

The woman nodded as if approving of the crime she had supposedly committed. "Well they tried to get me on murder in the second degree but it didn't work out so they got me on tax evasion instead," the woman jumped down from the bed and put her hand out, "I'm Stella." Rollins shook her hand and replied with, "Vicki."

"You'll need someone to stick with cos you're new; I know what it feels like. So stay with me and you'll be cool." Rollins looked up at Stella, she thought of how this woman just seemed like everyone else; she didn't look like a criminal, far from it. She found it funny how people automatically judged others and wondered how the rest of the team would judge her and Olivia when they eventually knew the truth.

Two days after she had been placed into the prison and Rollins felt like it had at least been a month. Being in there and having to act like a real prisoner had taught her a few lessons, not only who to trust but who was top dog and that information was vital. Stella, the woman she shared the cell with was not top dog unfortunately but everyone knew who she was. If you hadn't found that out who top dog was by two days you had a problem. A serious problem. The experience in a whole was quite changing for Rollins; she hadn't known it at the time. But she would.

The time that she had been away from her team had been interesting; it had helped her clear her head. But most of all it had emphasised her longing to be with Olivia, every hour she could guarantee that she would find something that would make her think of her older, beautiful partner.

Amanda walked out of her cell and down to the cafeteria area and grabbed some food and found a seat next to Stella. She had only been there a short time but she'd already heard whispers about the 'Pre-Prison Rapist' as the girls called him. But the more Amanda pushed the subject into conversation the more the prisoners would retreat. It was as if they were all too scared to say anything, this was what Rollins didn't understand. Surely if you were in prison and were away from the assailant wouldn't you just admit who the rapist was? The girls didn't think that way though.

Rollins picked up an apple and took a bite; she looked up and began to include herself in Stella's crew's conversation. She nodded in the appropriate places and added the small comment here and there but she was really listening to two women behind her. She had caught snippets of the subject and she was sure it was the rapist, the man who had stopped these strong women in their tracks. She made her way back up to the cell after lunch and was accompanied by Stella, who threw something at her as she walked into the cell. Amanda caught it and looked down at the pointed object. It was a shiv made out of toothbrush; Rollins twirled it in her hand and looked at her inmate with a quizzical look.

"We all need to protect ourselves. Just don't go using it on me. K?"

"Thanks." Amanda said sliding the mutilated toothbrush under her mattress.

"So you got anyone out there?" Stella asked.

"What d'you mean, am I seeing anyone?" Stella nodded, "Yeh I am."

"You in love? What's he called?" Her inmate questioned, Rollins took a while to ponder the question before replying with, "Yeh I guess I am in love. And I'm not telling you _her _name."

"Her?" Stella's eyes widened slightly and Amanda decided to change the subject.

"So who's the Pre-Prison Rapist everyone seems to be talkin about?"

Stella looked up and shook her head. "Nothing, it's a load of whack if you ask me. The girls in here just make up shit to get each other scared; you know what I'm saying." The last of Stella's reply was sharp; it was as if she had hit a nerve. Amanda didn't push it any further that day, if Stella had given her a shiv on her second day god only knew how many she had stashed for herself.

It was time for the showers the next day and Rollins undressed and slipped into the shower room, she saw women around her all naked. But none, not one gave her the same rush that she had felt when she had been close to Olivia. She began to clean herself when she saw a woman looking at her from across the room. "WHAT YOU LOOKING AT?" was the shout she heard a few seconds later. Rollins put her head down, she had a job to do and she didn't need any unnecessary problems. Then she heard the woman again, repeating herself and walking in Amanda's direction. 'Don't drop the soap' was what Stella had said to her earlier and she sure wasn't going to. The woman who Amanda knew as Anna, she was second in line to the prison thrown and there were rumours that she was one of the rape victims and she never backed down from a fight.

"A coward." Rollins replied after realising this was going to end badly if she reacted or not, the shower room filled with a low buzz.

"What did you just call me?" Anna answered, her anger clearly rising to beyond annoyed.

"I called you a coward because even after this hard act you're really just a victim. A victim to a man who you let get away with a sickenin crime." Rollins thought it best to be the first to mention the rapist, no one did and she knew it was going to cause uproar.

Anna grabbed her shoulder and swung Rollins around to face her. Rollins was too fast for her though, she had seen it coming as Anna's other hand had been clenched in a fist and was being brought up towards Amanda's face. Rollins stepped back and dodged the attack while giving a swift punch to the nose and knocking the woman to the shower floor. This caused uproar and no sooner did she know this, Amanda had a bleeding nose and a small cut above her eyebrow as the leaders of the prison gangs piled in on her. The pain began to subside as Rollins realised Stella and her gang had come in and saved her. Amanda wiped her nose with the back of her hand and saw blood smeared across it and she could feel a large thumping in her head. One of Stella's gang had thrown Amanda's clothes at her, she'd gotten dressed and been pulled her to the medics. They had cleaned the wounds and had told her that in about three days' time you wouldn't be able to tell anything had happened to her.

That night once the lights went out and the other women had fallen asleep Stella jumped down and sat on the edge of Amanda's bed. Amanda had been laying in the dark thinking about her recent secret meetings with Detective Benson and how she felt so comforted when she was around the older woman.

"What is it?" Rollins asked sitting up and brushing her hair from her face.

"Why did you mention the rapist earlier in the showers?"

"How do you know I was talkin about the rapist, you weren't there?" Amanda said.

"Because everyone told me. Some said how they were happy someone had finally talked about the whole rapist thing, others weren't so happy with you. So watch out."

"Why's everyone so bothered, they won't admit it and it's not like he's around to get them again. So why don't they just get him sent down, tell the cops who he is?" Rollins questioned.

"Because it ain't that easy Vick."

"And you'd know why?"

"Because he attacked me. Two days before my trial." She had put her head in her hands and was beginning to shake. It seemed the Stella wasn't as tough as she made out. "I feel like I can trust you Vick, I never told no one that before. But I ain't telling no cops, it's too dangerous."

Rollins stroked her shoulder. "But why? Why's it too dangerous? What hold does he have on you exactly?" But Stella wouldn't reply, the rest of the night they were silent. Stella had questioned herself over whether she had told Vicki too much.

One day later and Rollins was called by one of the guards, she saw Julia Hart as she walked past. The woman had nodded and carried on talking to her cell mate. Amanda got hauled into a small room, with two small chairs and a table, the walls were painted an unflattering grey tone and Rollins began to smile. Not because of the dank room but because sat in one of the chairs was Detective Olivia Benson. Her Olivia Benson.

* * *

**A/N: So what do you think Amanda is going to tell Olivia? And what else does prison have in store for Rollins? Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. Thanks. **


	6. Chapter 6: Protection

**A\N: Hey guys, sorry it's been a little late but I've had a lot to do. This one is a little longer than the others but I didn't want to split it into two separate chapters. I do not own these characters. Please leave a review.**

* * *

"I guess what scares me the most now is the thought that I won't be able to protect you"  
― Julia Hoban

* * *

**Chapter 6: Protection**

* * *

Olivia looked up from her seat and her facial expression changed from one of happiness to one of concern. Her eyes locked onto the cut above Amanda's eyebrow and the bruising that was starting to fade on her face. Benson got up from her seat and rushed to her partner's side.

"Amanda, who did this to you?" Rollins looked at her and rolled her eyes.

"Liv, I'm fine. I'm in a prison it's gunna get a little rough now and again. What I'm more interested in is why it's taken you so long to visit. I thought you'd know the visitin times by now." Amanda grinned, a smile strewn across her face. "On a serious note though Liv, I know some victims that are in here and I hear things. Things about the rapist but when I go to confront them about it, well they ignore the fact I've asked. It's like…..it's like he still has some strange hold on em, I dunno."

Benson looked at her younger partner and smiled to herself. She loved that Rollins had such a genuine attachment to the other women and had worked hard to find out some crucial information.

"So how much longer do you need in here?" Benson asked.

"As long as it takes to find him. I'm not leaving until I know." Rollins replied tugging at her orange jumpsuit. "I better get back; otherwise they might start getting suspicious." The younger of the two stood up and walked to the door.

Benson followed and grabbed Amanda's arm and pulled her towards her. Olivia touched Amanda's chin with the tips of her fingers and then put her hand in her partners. She looked into her marine blue eyes and whispered 'I miss you.'

Rollins' heart skipped a few paces; those words were all she needed to keep her going for the next few days.

Rollins walked back to her cell, she turned a corner and heard the word 'rapist'. She passed a group of women and watched as they clearly eyed the potential victims of the crime and then Amanda turned to see Stella sat on a bench. There was a clear loss of her demeanor, a loss caused by that man.

Amanda passed another group of girls and heard one say "Do you know what makes me sick, is that those sluts get more attention from the guards, they get better food, better inmates…" she trailed off as Rollins passed. Amanda had had enough and talked as she walked to the cafeteria, grabbed a metal tray and slammed it against the floor. "Do you know what makes me sick?" The room went silent as the bang reverberated off of the walls and the leaders of the gangs stood with clenched fists as they saw Rollins stand up on a table. She cleared her throat and addressed the swarm of criminals.

"I'm thoroughly sick of listening to all of you! Every day without fail I can guarantee you I'll hear about that rapist that got to half of you," she said pointing to the crowd, looking over she saw the guards approaching her. "That rapist that y'all are letting get away with this because y'all are too scared to tell the cops who did it. Don't you want that bastard to pay?" The group was silent until Stella chipped in with; "It's not that easy Vick."

"But why? What is it so bad that the cops can't catch him?" Rollins shouted and everyone in the room was deadly quiet apart from the prison guards that were dragging Amanda off of the table. "If you have any decency you'll stop it from happening to other girls and fucking tell someone!"

Above the commotion a detective smiled to herself as she saw a blonde woman being dragged away, moving her brown hair from her face she turned on her heel and left the prison.

The next morning when Amanda awoke, she heard the scuffing of shoes as the prison guards walked the hallways. She looked across to see Stella looking out of their cell, her hands cupped around the peeling white bars and she seemed oddly fixed on something. Rollins asked her what was wrong but the woman just grunted and walked away to the cafeteria once the cell was open. No one had appeared to look at Rollins yesterday after her speech; it was quite strange in the detective's opinion. She herself got up from her bed and checked the hallway was clear. Moving back to her cell she found her shiv under her mattress, placing it in the back of shoe she ambled down to get some food.

The room went silent as she entered and today all heads turned to look at her. Rollins ignored it, grabbed her food at sat at a table with Stella and her crew. There was a brief moment as Amanda began to eat that Stella's gang just sat down watching her then one after the other they began to get up and disappear towards some of the south facing doors. Rollins looked around and watched as more and more women did the same until only a dozen or so prisoners were left seated. That's when it hit her. They were heading towards the warden's office. They were heading to make their statements.

About three hours passed and Stella arrived back at the cell to find Amanda led on her bed.

"It seemed to work you know," Stella said taking a seat next to her cellmate. Amanda looked up at her.

"Thought it might." Rollins took a small pause before continuing with, "we can't sit here and let someone like that get away with somethin so sick."

"I guess you're right but the girls are still a lil cautious as to how he's gunna react and what will happen to them."

Amanda glanced up at her and replied with "What do you mean? Now that you've given a statement we're more likely to catch him." Stella went to reply but stopped and stood up instead.

"What?" The detective questioned.

"You said we're more likely to catch him. You're a prisoner you ain't getting out of here to catch him, unless you're a…." Amanda realised her mistake, she had spoken to Stella as if she was one of the team, and she had stupidly come out of character. This was something Olivia had warned would happen. "You're a cop."

"What? No. It's a figure of speech. Geez." But Stella wasn't convinced and edged backwards.

"I trusted you." Then she left.

"Shit!" Rollins said to herself as she rushed out of her cell, past the other inmates and to the warden's office. A line of women still stood ready to give statements, Amanda passed them all and watched as the warden's door opened and Anna walked out. Brushing against Anna she strolled into the room and closed the door.

"I'm sorry Miss Clay but you're not next in line. If you'll just go and get to the back of the line…"

"I wanna talk to Detective Olivia Benson." The warden had no idea that she was an undercover cop. He began to protest until she said, "I'm Detective Amanda Rollins and I suggest you do what I say."

Around half an hour later Olivia walked through the door to find Amanda sat in a seat in front of the warden's desk.

"What's happened?" She asked Rollins.

"You heard about the statements being given right?" Olivia nodded, "Well I need to see them and quickly."

"What's happened?"

Amanda looked up from the paperwork and shook her head.

"They're all the same Olivia. Every description's the same. But they're not clear enough; this could fit a quarter of the men in New York. What we need is a key detail something specific."

Benson nodded and carried on searching through the files. "Wait, I have seen something not a lot of them have said it but it seems like the most recent victims have. Look." She said passing Rollins a file. "Julia Hart mentions a red and purple scarf."

Amanda looked up at her partner. "I've seen him. I've seen that bastard before."

"What? Where?" Olivia replied.

"Can you remember when we interviewed those girls downtown? He was there, I saw someone at the end of the street watching us but I didn't a clear enough view. The only thing I could make out was a red and purple scarf." Amanda got up and reached for the door. "We need to speak to Stella."

They reached Amanda's cell and Stella was sat on the top bunk, her legs were crossed and she was clearly engrossed in a book. She looked up as Olivia and Rollins walked in. She rolled her eyes and threw down her book.

"I knew it, you are a cop." Stella said and Olivia looked at her partner.

"Stella we need your help. I need to know why you didn't want to tell the cops."

Stella looked at Amanda and knew that this woman was going to continue questioning her until she answered. "Because he said he'd get us back. He'd get us back by hurting our families."

"But how would he do that if he didn't know your names or where you came from?" Benson questioned but Stella turned her head indicating she wasn't going to answer the question.

"If he's gunna hurt your families then why did you come forward?" Rollins asked.

"Because if a whole bunch of us came forward he had less of a chance to get to everyone's."

"You said to me the other day that he kept a check on you. How?" Amanda said but again Stella didn't answer.

"He works he doesn't he." Benson stated and Stella looked up, her eyes began to fill with tears and she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Only a few of us actually saw a clear view of his face. I was one of them."

Olivia nodded and walked from the cell, she told Rollins to stay and comfort her inmate while she went to talk to the warden.

"So I need a list of all your male employees." Benson said exiting the room with the warden and a part-time psychiatrist who had been placing files back into the office.

"If you need my help Detective be sure to call." The psychiatrist said handing Benson a card which she twirled in her fingers.

She looked to her left and saw Amanda walking along with Stella, whose eyes were red and puffed up. The warden walked back into his office as the psychiatrist walked in the opposite direction to Rollins. Benson looked down at the card and then back up at her partner. But Amanda wasn't focused on Liv she was focused on the man up ahead of her, she watched as he opened his satchel and reached for a notepad and an object fell from his bag. "Oh Dr Learner you dropped something." Benson said reaching down and picking the object up.

Then she realised. It was a red and purple scarf. Dr Learner stood still as Benson turned her gaze to Amanda. The younger detective appeared to be looking at Stella who had suddenly gone still, and then she nodded. "It's him."

Rollins saw Olivia drop the scarf as she heard Stella's words and ran after the psychiatrist who was now sprinting down the hallway. Amanda took after her running at full speed until she realised that the hallway split off into three and Benson had clearly disappeared down one of them. The blonde haired woman chose the right hallway and proceeded to race after Dr Learner.

Benson reached the end of the corridor and found Dr Learner with a knife in his hand and a prisoner in the other. He raised the knife up to the woman's throat and Olivia grabbed her gun and pointed it at him. "Drop the knife Dr Learner, or I'll put a bullet in that twisted head of yours." He began to laugh. "Wanna try me?" She asked.

Rollins reached the end of the corridor as well and up ahead she saw Benson with a gun pointed at the Doctor who had another prisoner in his arms. She reached down to her shoe and grabbed the shiv she'd been hiding. 'I knew it would come in handy' she thought. Silently she sidled over to the doctor, Benson saw she had a sharp object in her hand and watched as the blonde woman plunged it into the back of one of his legs. He crippled under the pain and Amanda grabbed his knife.

Olivia reached down and handcuffed him then she reached for his satchel. "Let's see what he's got in his bag." Opening it she pulled out some bracelets, a few notepads and some earrings. "Trophies." She said. "Son of bitch."

The detectives had found out that Dr Learner had kept the girls under control because he had access to their records he would send them notes during their stay at the prison to let them know he knew where their families were. They had him locked up for now and they had a feeling he'd be going down for a real long time. Amanda and Olivia had been given the evening off and they have gone back to Benson's apartment.

Olivia came walked out of the bathroom to find Amanda sat on a blanket on the floor surrounded by food and a picnic hamper. They both smiled and Benson joined her.

"Shouldn't I be doing this? After what you went through this past week?" The older of the two asked.

"I thought I'd treat us, thought I'd treat you." Rollins smiled as Benson crawled over to her, grabbing the back of Amanda's neck she pulled her lips onto her own. Their kiss began to intensify and they found themselves led on the floor crushing the newly bought food. Benson stopped and looked down at the croissant she had just flattened with her thigh.

"Well they do say that food is an aphrodisiac." Amanda laughed brushing Olivia's hair from her face and placing it behind her ear. Olivia kissed Rollins on the lips once more before replying.

"I don't need an aphrodisiac."

"And why's that?" Amanda asked feeling the breath of her partner glide across her face.

"Because I love you and you're all I need."

Amanda gazed up at her partner, her lover and pulled her in for another romantic embrace. They slowly stood up as the moonlight began to pour in through the window and Olivia guided Rollins to her bedroom. They began to undress slightly before Amanda pushed Liv onto the bed, their faces a short distance from each other's and whispered "I love you too."

* * *

**A/N: So I know it was long but hopefully the confession of love was worth the read. Let me know what you think and where you think their relationship will now go. I'm curious to hear what you guys reckon. Please leave me a review and let me know. Thanks.**


	7. Chapter 7: I Want To Protect You

**A\N: Hey guys I'm so sorry it's late but I've had awful writers block and been really busy lately. I've got another part to this chapter which I'll probably post up in a few weeks so look out for it. But now it's done I hope you like it ****. Please leave a review. I do not own these characters. **

"I wanted to protect her, and, if I couldn't do that, I'd at least be there for her."  
― Shannon A. Thompson

**Chapter 7: I Want To Protect You**

It was on days like this that Amanda knew she had the best partner, the best girlfriend and overall one of the best friends she'd ever wanted or dreamed of. Having just watched Olivia take down a known and highly dangerous drug dealer without the help of anyone else and cuff him for the rape of his 'so-called' friend, she was very impressed. Olivia may have seemed like a tough cop there on the street but Amanda knew what she was really like, what she was like deep down in those mushy parts of her personality. It was something that Rollins just loved to see.

The team had wandered down to the bar to have a couple of drinks but Cragen had passed up the offer due to paperwork and Amaro had told the team he had some things to do at home. Benson explained he was probably feeling the effects of not seeing his daughter for such a long time. Munch and Fin had bought all of the drinks and John had joked that Benson was now the temporary hero of the precinct.

"You wait Liv, I'll get be it next time," Fin winked and knocked back the remnants of a beer.

Benson laughed and replied with, "Yeh I'll let you take the credit next time." After about an hour of being there Munch got up to leave and Benson followed, she was tired and couldn't drink another drop. Amanda looked up wondering whether to follow and give Olivia a quick goodnight kiss but she hesitated as Fin noticed the two senior members of the one-six precinct leaving.

"Going already? Lightweights, we'll see you Monday." Fin called out to them as he came back from the bar. Munch nodded and walked through the door.

Benson turned around and looked at the pair sat there, smiling just enjoying the time off work. "Yeh see ya Fin, Mand…Amanda." Olivia corrected herself before Fin realised what she'd just said, she only used Amanda's nickname when they were at hers. Amanda let out a small smile and winked at Benson before turning back to her beer.

The next day came pretty quickly; Benson had enjoyed her night of beer with friends and then watching crappy TV. Once she awoken the next morning she clambered out of bed and into the shower, an early morning wakeup call was exactly what she seemed to need. Halfway through and she began to hear noises coming from her kitchen. 'It's probably next door fixing something again' she thought to herself as she let the warm water flow down the center of her back. BANG. It came again.

Pulling back the shower curtain she grabbed for a towel and wandered into her living room, she rounded the corner to find a man, dressed purely in black with a spray can in one hand and a bag in another. Her eyes darted to her paperwork that was splayed across the floor and then to her wall. The man turned around watching as Benson grabbed for her gun and raced for the door before she had time to do anything. "HEY, GET BACK HERE!" Benson shouted to no avail, all that could be heard were the patter of feet as the man fled.

Benson turned back to her apartment and went to inspect the damage on the wall. It was a gang symbol and one that matched that of the drug dealer she'd just taken down, he was out to make her life hell. There was no obvious sign of damage to her door so she guessed the guy had just lock picked his way in and knocked off her paperwork that had been balanced on the table.

Rollins bounced up the steps to her girlfriends apartment block, two coffees in her hands and her smile was the first thing that anyone would notice about her that morning. She rounded the corner to find Benson standing in her home, her door was open, and she was changed and seemed to be staring at something on her wall. Olivia looked up as Amanda walked in the door; she shook her head and pointed to the sprayed symbol.

"Oh my god Liv! They did this! That guy he…when did it happen?" Rollins questioned her partner.

"I was in the shower and they broke in, I just thought that…if I sent him down it would be the end of all this," Benson walked over to her window and began to sob before uttering, "Clearly not." Rollins shut the door behind her, placed the coffees on the table and rushed over to Olivia who stood crying at her window. The younger of the two slid her arms around Benson's waist and pulled her into a hug. Olivia turned to face her blonde haired beauty and said "I don't feel safe anymore Manda, I wish I did but I don't." Tears started to stream down her face and Amanda held her lover closer until she eventually stopped crying. Rollins thought it was more shock than anything else that was making the older detective cry so much.

After a long phone call with Fin, Amanda decided that enough was enough. The gangs of this city could mess with her but they did not mess with her girlfriend. Thankfully Fin had been extremely sympathetic as usual and declared that he was going to find the 'son of a bitch' who did this to Liv. He had called up Amaro and grabbed him for some undercover work; all they had to go on was a gang symbol that Olivia had seen on the man's neck as he fled the crime scene.

Meanwhile in the shady part of town Amaro and Fin sat in a car, baseball caps on and coffees at the ready. They knew it wasn't going to be too hard tracking down the guy they presumed had trespassed and violated Olivia's apartment. They had two suspects, the drug dealer's right hand man or his brother, either would be up for the job.

"Look, over there," Amaro said as he pointed to a man climbing out of a beat up old car, his eyes were covered by a pair of shades and his neck by a hoodie. "I can't see any tattoo though."

"Don't worry we'll see it, even if we have to follow him home and pin him down, we'll see it" Fin replied as he watched the man enter a nearby house.

"What I don't get is how we don't have any pictures of this guy on file. You'd think we'd have at least something." Amaro added.

"He's clever, too clever."

Five minutes passed and the detectives watched from their small cop car as two men came rushing out of the house. One pulled his fists up to protect his face from any flying hits, while the other clenched a shiny pair of knuckledusters. The armed man launched himself at the detectives' perp knocking him to the floor, he sprang back up and attempted to run towards his car. However this did not work, he was pulled backwards by his hood revealing the same insignia that was now etched into Benson's wallpaper. The two detectives looked at each other and jumped into action. They flew from their car directly at the pair fighting in the street, they flashed their badges before pinning their perp to the floor and handcuffing him.

"Look I'll ask you again. Where were you between eight and ten this mornin'?" Rollins paced around the interview room watching as the sun streamed through the windows and landed directly on her perp. His eyes looked at his fidgeting fingers. "Do I really have to ask you again?"

"I ain't got nothing to say." The perp said as Rollins' pacing became faster and her breathing more inconsistent.

"And why's that?"

"Because I don't got an alibi! I didn't do nothing to nobody, I was led in bed asleep. Ain't no one gunna get up that early unless they crazy!" The man spoke again this time his words infuriated her even more. Amanda had been interrogating this man, Tyrese for over three hours now and all she had found out was he didn't have an alibi and that he claimed he never helped out the drug dealer they'd taken down days before. Rollins turned on her heel, about to say another comment to him as she grabbed hold of the collar of his shirt when there came a knock on the door.

"I'm not finished with you." She said bluntly before releasing her grip on his shirt and making her way out of the room.

"Rollins I think we should let Fin interrogate for a while. Give you a rest." Cragen offered. Amanda's face dropped as she tried to contemplate another member of the team cracking Tyrese after she had put the most work in. After all Olivia was her biggest priority and as much as she respected the other members of the squad she believed she was the only one who should do it. She needed to protect Olivia, whether it was now or whether it was on the street.

"But Captain I know I've got him, I just need a little more time."

"I'm sure you do Rollins but I believe it's in the best interests of everyone that you take a break and we let Fin take a shot at it." Cragen replied.

"No disrespect but I've worked my ass off," Amanda took a step towards Cragen before saying, "And I'm not gunna hang around and let this son of bitch get away with what he did to Liv!"

Cragen noticed the small step Rollins had taken and the sudden increase in how threatening her tone was becoming. It seemed odd to him that Amanda had become so 'attached' to Benson after such a short time. He had never realised that she was that close with the woman. However Cragen remained dominant in the situation as he yelled "That's an order!" and watched as Detective Amanda Rollins angrily grabbed her coat and left the precinct.

It was around four in the afternoon when Benson got a knock at her door, she opened it to find a slightly angry and upset Amanda. Her shirt was ruffled, one too many buttons were undone and her hair had transformed into a disheveled mess. She walked through the door and over to Olivia's kitchen work surface, placing her hands down on the cold surface she shook her head.

"Manda? Honey it's okay you know." Benson comforted her girlfriend by pulling her round and into a warming hug. "What's the matter?" She asked after placing a kiss onto the younger woman's plump lips.

Amanda looked up with tears in her eyes before admitting her biggest fears to her partner. "I..I just feel like I can't protect _you_. Of all the people I want to be able to protect _you_ and I and I can't!"

"Hey Amanda," Olivia stroked the younger woman's arm as the blonde turned away and started to pace the length of her kitchen. "AMANDA! Listen to _me_!" Benson shouted at the younger woman. Rollins stopped dead and looked across at the brunette who stood with such a presence that Rollins herself wanted to sacrifice all she had to keep her safe. Just her aura made her feel so completely and utterly helplessly in love. "You can protectme Manda but not from everything."

Benson reached out and grazed the side of her partners face with the back of her knuckles. "I love you."

ADA Novak sat with her back to the door on the edge of her desk while she read up on a recent case she had just won. Her legs were crossed, her foot dangled in the air and her hair rested gently on her tailored jacket. Suddenly a bang and a groan of her office door caused her to drop her files and turn around. That and the fact that Detective Rollins was shouting favors at her.

"Whoa slow down detective, I may be a good ADA but I can't say gibberish is my first language."

Amanda caught her breath before replying with "I need a warrant to search Tyrese Alavrez's apartment, it's important."

"And why would you need that? Wait…Alvarez, that's the brother of the drug dealer that just got sent down..."

"That Olivia sent down." Amanda interjected. Casey picked up her files from the floor as she turned to face the detective.

"Ahhh Detective Olivia Benson eh? Now I see why you're so insistent on having this warrant." Casey laughed.

"I don't have time for games Novak." Amanda replied harshly as Casey rolled her eyes, remembering back to the time she had caught the two women in the toilets together.

"I'll have it by the end of the day."

"And where have you been?" Cragen asked while he watched Amanda place her coat on the back of her chair.

"Places. Places that helped me get this." Rollins answered holding up an evidence bag full of spray cans. The Captain's eyes widened. "I take it Fin hasn't gotten anything out of him but then again we don't need it now."

"They're the spray cans he used?" Cragen questioned.

"Yep and they've got his fingerprints on him. Now we can send him down for usin' graffiti as a stupid way to threaten my Olivia." Amanda responded in her rich southern accent.

"My Olivia?" The Captain looked oddly at the blonde detective.

"Sorry I meant to say our Olivia." Cragen nodded, paused for a few seconds and then gestured towards his office.

**A/N: So I hope you liked it, it's a bit longer than usual but hopefully that's a good thing. What do you think Cragen's gunna say to Rollins? Has he figured out they're having a relationship? Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. PLUS: Next chapter Olivia is going to reveal a secret about the case that Rollins doesn't know! How's she gunna react? **


End file.
